"To say the wheels fall off would be too kind."

Whiteout opens with a gunfight ... on an airplane in flight. It's 1957. The film then segues smoothly into a modern day Kate Beckinsale peeling off eight to 10 layers of clothing to take a nice piping hot shower in her room, location: Antarctica. So far, so good, right? This is a movie you can begin to appreciate. But then they start telling the "story" part and all hell breaks loose. To say the wheels fall off would be too kind…